week 9

Charity within a marriage is huge. In Goddard’s book "Drawing Heaven into your Marriage." He talks about how the lack of charity is of the natural man. He also shares something interesting that if you surprise a man and see his reaction that is usually the type of man that he is. I found that really interesting. I tried to think of myself and how I would react; my first initial response to this would be disappointment.  I'm not exactly sure why it would be disappointment. I think that it would be because I feel like I have high expectations of people and when they surprise me by letting me down. My first thought is disappointment. However for many people it can be anger or retaliation through words or anything else. The way that we can overcome that is by looking for charity. Charity should be the easiest to churn up in our lives especially for our spouses. However, at times charity can be one of the hardest things to show towards a spouse. Why is this? I have thought about this. My first thought is that we have high expectations for each other. When one of us screws up or does something the other doesn't like. It’s like letting each other down, and that can be when a lack of charity happens in a lot of marriages. One way to overcome this is to always look for the positive look for the good in each other all the time. Help each other out. Support each other in the dreams that you each have. Do your best to find charity in your relationship and life in general. 

Week 8

Every marriage has its own set of problems no marriage is perfect. When a person decides to marry someone they are ultimately deciding what set of problems they want to deal with for a while. I think that is very interesting. As i was doing the reading for this week I couldn't help but think about communication. Communication about the problems that a relationship is ensuing is huge. I think that in order to be able to overcome these problems we must learn to communicate effectively. Communication can set the tone for a lot of things. If we learn to communicate using non harsh startups typically we are able to overcome things a lot easier. If we communicate rude or demeaning thoughts towards our spouse you can bet you will be in for an argument. I think that if we are able to learn how to communicate things that bother us, to our spouses, then we will be able to have less heated arguments. Blame won’t be placed on someone. Most of the time the problem will be talked out and a negotiation will be made. I learned that it’s all about how we communicate our problems to one another. Also, the way we communicate how to fix the problems can lead to happiness as well. Communication is Key to a successful relationship.

Week 7

This week in class my eyes were opened to many things concerning pride. The things in which we were assigned to read really helped me to understand exactly what pride was and how to identify it. Pride is "enmity towards god and enmity towards our fellow man. Enmity means hatred, toward, hostility to, or state of opposition." This goes to show that the little things that one can do in marriage are signs of pride. I was actually kind of shocked at the little things that were listed that we listed as prideful things. Here are a few of them

Not yielding to one another. This could be a cause of stubbornness which is also pride. We must be willing to work together and talk things out by yielding to one another this is a sign of humility the opposite of pride.

Putting each other down. Looking at each other’s faults can be a sense of pride because you look past your own faults and focus on others by tearing them down. We need to build each other up in our relationships.

Gender Roles can also be prideful. An example, that was shared in Goddard’s book, when he would get irritated that his wife wouldn't clean the kitchen counter. He thought it was not his job, and couldn't figure out why his wife couldn't keep it clean. However he then realized it was not her problem it was his own and he could take a few minutes to clear it if it really bothered him. This is one example of pride and repenting.

The last example is what needs to happen we need to be able to recognize faults within our self that could be causing a problem because of pride. Once we have been able to identify it we need to change and repent.

Marriage can be very hard at times but also very rewarding. It takes the hard work of two individuals to make it work and a lot of humility this is something that I have learned since I have been married.

Week 6

Staying emotionally connected is so important. As I was doing the readings this week I wanted to think of exactly what staying emotionally connected meant. What I came up with kind of shocked me in a way. I learned that there is no one answer fixes all. I learned that each relationship is different and must be dealt with accordingly to maintain that emotional bond between husband and wife. I especially liked the part in Gottmans book when he discussed when affection was most highly remember-able. He said that it was during courtship because things were planned and we need to continue to plan these things such as dates, romantic nights, etc. Although I feel that this is very important I also had this thought come across my mind about a principle I was taught many times. This principle was that marriage is a love triangle between a husband, wife, and our father in heaven.

     When we are striving to stay emotionally connected to our spouse, we come home do the little things for one another. We wash dishes, we cook together, we talk about our day’s activities, we talk about important things, and we communicate. I think that this is important to look at we discuss all of these things with our wives or husbands and stay connected. When we rely upon our father in heaven and incorporate him into our triangle we all become emotionally connected and can help one another grow closer together. We can help make important decisions, keep our values the same, and raise children in loving the lord. It develops a sense of bond that will give you a deeper appreciation and love for each other. This will help keep us connected on a spiritual level. Not only will it help us spiritually but temporally as well. We can make better decisions this way, we can keep our lives connected and continually helping each other grow.
   This is something that I always want to be able to remember. If we are able to do this we will be able to have a happy and successful marriage and raise a great family with the same traditions and values.